


Dumbles Goes to the Beach

by M1dn1ght_Star



Series: Dumbledoor Crack Series [6]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Albus Dumbledore Being an Idiot, Bad Humor, Crack, Dumbledoor has terrible fashion sense, Gen, Humor, do not copy to another site
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:01:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28110579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/M1dn1ght_Star/pseuds/M1dn1ght_Star
Summary: Dumbledoor locked the door to his office behind him as he strode through the floo, wearing his favorite vacation outfit. It was a geometrically patterned green and yellow tank top, which thankfully had a jacket over it, though the jacket should be a criminal offense all in itself with huge fake plastic daisies attached all over the teal macrame. His pants looked like an accordion and were a cheerful shade of highlighter yellow and burnt orange with a polka dot pattern. To top it all off, he had flip flops with bunny ears and a tail.The portraits in the headmaster’s office were passing out from sheer horror at the sight and Phineas Nigellus Black had to take a deep breath to keep himself from hurling, not that a portrait really could, but it didn’t feel pleasant nonetheless. Fawkes burst into flames weeks before his burning day just to escape the sight and the lemon drop figurine Minerva had given Dumbles for his birthday scratched its carved eyes off.
Series: Dumbledoor Crack Series [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2053173
Kudos: 13





	Dumbles Goes to the Beach

**Author's Note:**

> I had a lot of fun writing this! The books actually exist and the clothing was inspired by existing things too lol

Dumbledoor locked the door to his office behind him as he strode through the floo, wearing his favorite vacation outfit. It was a geometrically patterned green and yellow tank top, which thankfully had a jacket over it, though the jacket should be a criminal offense all in itself with huge fake plastic daisies attached all over the teal macrame. His pants looked like an accordion and were a cheerful shade of highlighter yellow and burnt orange with a polka dot pattern. To top it all off, he had flip flops with bunny ears and a tail.

The portraits in the headmaster’s office were passing out from sheer horror at the sight and Phineas Nigellus Black had to take a deep breath to keep himself from hurling, not that a portrait really could, but it didn’t feel pleasant nonetheless. Fawkes burst into flames weeks before his burning day just to escape the sight and the lemon drop figurine Minerva had given Dumbles for his birthday scratched its carved eyes off.

Dumbledoor didn’t notice this, too busy looking around for someone to ask directions. He was planning on spending a day relaxing on the beach but he didn’t know where to find a good one. His starting point was a magical store in Spain. The first woman he tried to approach ran away screaming and the man near her backed away before Dumbles could ask him. Finally, he managed to get directions to one in Barcelona from a barely awake college student in a coffee shop.

When he got there, it was moderately busy but there was still plenty of space. He found a nice spot by a pile of rocks and sat down. Pulling out his lion pattern beach towel and casting a sunscreen spell, Dumbles lay down to enjoy a quick nap.

Thirteen hours later, he was rudely awakened by a grumpy looking security man in khakis who told him the beach was closing. The man didn’t appreciate Dumbles calling him ‘my boy’ or talking to him patronizingly and the headmaster ended up having to run away from him, stumbling and tripping over his flip flops and losing one entirely somewhere along the way. 

Dumbledoor’s stomach grumbled and he decided to find somewhere to eat before returning to the castle. It had been a while since he’d had some good fries. Deciding to change his outfit, Dumbles found a quiet alley and transfigured his clothes into a paisley v-neck and some shorts that went to just below his knees. He slipped on a pair of triangle shaped sunglasses and went into a fast food place.

The cashier had an odd expression on their face the entire time he was ordering his food and most of the other people in the store were also looking at him weirdly. Dumbles glanced at himself but couldn’t figure out anything wrong, so shrugged it off and wandered back up to the counter to get his food. He didn’t realize he was still barefoot.

Paying in muggle money that he had found on the ground, Dumbledoor enjoyed a greasy meal of fries and a hamburger before meandering down the street. He put on an umbrella hat after it started raining and hummed to himself as he made it back to the wizarding store where he flooed back to hogwarts. Putting on his Voldemort onesie, Dumbles got in bed and read a chapter of his book The Manly Art of Knitting before setting it down on his nightstand next to his favorite classic, Everything I Want to Do is Illegal. He drifted off to sleep and dreamed about flying potatoes and dancing peacocks.


End file.
